A Distracted Laze

It pulls me down and weighs me there.
I follow a path, mechanical, as I work towards nothing.
Side-stepping, I distract myself from monotony -
Oh, the distractions of life, wailing to me from left and right.

Can I ever work towards more?

Sitting, I try to focus and learn,
pulling from the depths of me -
but nothing.
Instead, that siren's wail calls from a distance and
I can't help but lift my head.

Then I'm off again.

Deadlines come and I find myself sitting again,
pouring forth words and numbers like a machine.
I work down a path, guided though mildly directed.

When will I lead?
When will I take the first step and run?

I push against the wall in front of me, but
grow tired and quit.
I run the race of achievement,
only to slow to a walk and gaze at the sky.

I move when people push me,
but all I desire is to sit and mentally explore.
I dream, then grow tired when I think of the long path before me.

When will I see a challenge before me
and tackle it to the ground?
Will I ever be able take the reigns and steer my future?

Can I ever learn to work for me?